On Jan 1, 2010 I mapped out my road to freedom.
The key is learning to savor. I will do this by following some rules of the road:
- For the first month I will
- Fast twice a week, not as a means to lose weight but to savor the Lord and my family.
- I will make this road known to my family.
- I will eat only 4oz servings during meals.
- I will only eat with my family to ensure accountability.
- I will brush my teeth morning, night, and after meals.
- I will exercise at least 3 times per week.
The reason for the rules of the road are not to inflict punishment on myself for past sins nor are they a means to weight loss. These purpose of these rules are solely for training me to savor the food that goes into my mouth, the time I spend with my family, and most importantly (and perhaps all-encompassing) to change my destructive lifestyle.
Our first meal together was interesting. Sally made some fideo and I heated up some tortillas that were leftover from yesterday’s lunch. I drank three glasses of water with my tiny bowl of food and half of a tortilla. I wanted salsa but we left it at grandma’s so I sent my son down to get it. It took him for ever to get back up here with it which left me with a cold half a tortilla and a warm instead of hot baby bowl of food.
My attitude was still good. More along the lines of this is just about typical. Before I began eating I read the “rules of the Road” to the family and Sally said she would do her best to encourage and not force me into submission. Either way it doesn’t matter, I need to change. This isn’t about her, it is about me. As I was reading she took a bite of my tortilla!! Further, I rolled the tortilla up so now I have like a ¼ tortilla for my warm baby bowl.
I thought it was funny, but knew that God was telling me, “I am your portion.” Sally said to just get another half and while I did consider it I stuck with what I had left.
I ate and toward the end of my meal I was really full. I pulled my cold tortilla into nickel sized pieces so I would have enough to go all the way through the meal. I noticed, that while I was taking my time and was going to finish after everyone else (even though I had much less food and my wife is an excellent cook) I couldn’t really say I was enjoying my food anymore than usual. Actually the food didn’t taste nearly as good as it usually does and I love my wife’s fideo.
This isn’t the way it is supposed to work! If you discipline yourself and slow down the food is actually supposed to taste better and be more enjoyable. It wasn’t … at all! This was the biggest let down since Santa Clause…seriously! There were no flavorful explosions going off in my mouth!. I slowed down. I was taking my time. I was doing my part. I said to myself, “Come on God? Where are you? Boy this is great. Why did I have to read those stupid rules to my family! Now I’m going to fail in front of them … again.”
I slowly finished my last two bites praying for some taste. I cleansed my bland palate with some water. I pushed my bowl aside and noticed something. There, hidden somehow under the side of the bowl was a 15 cent sliver of tortilla. I savored every cent…and quietly thanked Jesus, my Portion.
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